Thursday, February 11, 2010

Things to do with a dead iguana

o Mail it to your boss
o Find a cracked window in the parking lot and drop it into someone's car
o Freeze it and use it as a fetish sex toy
o Give it to a blind kid and say, It's real gentle
o Drop it in any mailbox, scare the shit out of the mailman
o Throw it over the top of the stall in the restroom
o Take it to a scary movie and throw it into the audience during a creepy part
o Hang it from your front door beneath a sign reading, This is the last bastard who tried to break into my house
o Feed it to the neighbor's dog
o Hand it to the drive-through clerk
o Take it to the doctor and ask her if she thinks iguanas can give you herpes
o Use it as a target in a skeet toss


- Saul

2 comments:

  1. "Give it to the drive-through clerk." That is fucking hilarious!! I might do that. Gotta look around for something dead first, though.



    -Give it to Mom for Christmas.

    -Tape it's head back on and sell it to a blind kid. -(actually Saul's comment, but fucking funny.)

    -Put it in a Sonic bag and hand it to a homeless guy on the street corner.

    -Save it for road rage, roll down your window and sling it at the next fucker that cuts you off. (if you wait a few days it might stick like a burrito on a windshield.)

    -Throw it on the neighbors roof.

    -Eat it.

    --Army of One

    -Take a picture with it and post it on facebook. Sick fuck.

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  2. Wierd. Nobody bothered to mention handing it to the next Jehovah's Witness that comes knocking on your door.

    For dramatic effect- be naked with raging wood doused in ketchup.

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