Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What the hell is a half marathon?

A half-marathon?

Are you kidding me?

A HALF marathon?

Come on. That's like a HALF blow job.

"Hey, baby, here's a half twenty for your half blow job. It wasn't half bad. My lower half offers you half a thanks."

"You're half welcome, now get half the fuck off me and quit half humping my thigh."

A half marathon. What the fuck is that, anyway, and who'd want to half run one of em...

In fact, if you half run a full marathon, is that a three quarter marathon? What if you run 50% faster on you half marathon, or walk a third and run the rest? Can you get a five-sevenths marathon?

And don't get me started on half triathlons and half iron mans (aka aluminum mans).


- Saul

4 comments:

  1. For the record, I'm running a half marathon in March. For clarification, it's 13.1 miles. Half of 26.2, to be exact. Which is the prescribed distance for the FULL marathon.

    I still don't know why I torture myself and sign up for shit like this. It's really fucking sadistic, and I've yet to experience the "runner's high" that everyone talks about. All I feel is exhausted, sweaty, and at those distances, chaffed in areas that I don't want to mention.

    Oh, and fuck you, Saul.

    XOXO,
    Mike

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  2. The technical term for a half marathon is a "13.1 mile race". I don't know why they call it that but I have it on good authority. There has been much debate on why s "13.1 mile race" is often referred to as a "1/2 Marathon" and it has cased much contoversy in the European Marathon curcuit. I'm making some calls and I will get back to you with a more detialed answer.

    -Army Of One

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  3. Ah, and so I finally figure out what all those stickers are on people's cars, the ones that read either 13.1 or 26.2.

    And yes, I knew MC was running a "half" marathon. That's what got me to half thinking.


    - Half Saul

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  4. Half kiss my ass.

    I love you guys, but not in the gay, ass pounding or prison way.

    Full MC

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