Number 1 on the list is toilet plungers. Who the fuck wants to keep that thing in the house after you just did what you just did with it? It doesn't matter if you hose it down with Lysol, bleach, or set it on fire, it still is and always will be the big fucking wooden spoon that just stirred a giant steaming pot of shit chili with corn in it. Fucking nasty.
Number 2 is bath loofahs. Loofahs go places where NO ONE wants to go. They actually frighten me when I'm visiting someone's house and see one hanging in the guest bath a few feet from me. Where has it been?...what horrors has it seen?..did it just move? And I know...you know...we all know that loofahs never see soap unless its about to scrub someones ass, balls, and armpits. Then it's hung up wet awaiting the next round of abuse and humiliation. Gross.
Number 3 is kitchen sponges. Come on, you know you look at that gnarled blue or green scotchbrite with food embedded clear to middle of the fucking thing and think "that's nasty". Then you wash your plates and glasses with it and put them in your cabinet to ferment for a few days before you eat or drink from them. Then you put that germ filled petri dish back on the sink feeling soiled and guitly for doing what you just did. Honestly, I don't even like to use new sponges, because they're just fucking gross.
-Army of One
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~ Great Topic! ~
ReplyDeleteNumber 4: Hotel and Guest Room Bedding
Speaking of horrors and seeing things nobody wants to see, what about Hotel and Guest Room beddings.
Pillowcases rubbed against heads misshapen and unwashed and noses unblown and mouths drooling open.
Sheets stained with sex and urine.
Bedspreads never washed, sat on naked, wrapped naked, stained with sex and urine.
Number 5: People who bother me
How nice to dispose of those who bother me, after but one use.
Number 6: Condoms
I hate having to wash those things out and get them re-rolled every time I use it. You ever try to re-roll a condom? It's a pain in the ass.
Plus, if it's one you found in the parking lot, you never know who else has used it, or on who, or if it was even used on a woman, or if you'd be attracted to that woman. And it might be a magnum, and that's just embarrassing.
- Saul
*Number 7:* Along with hotel sheets- Hotel remoted controls! How many nose picking, ass crack itching, hooker fingering dick beaters have handled thing? And you *know* that thing was never cleaned.
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