Sunday, January 3, 2010

Flavored Lubricants

All right, who the fuck thought of flavored lubricants?

What fucking genius was sitting around watching porn, smoking the ham, when he said, "You know, I bet this stuff would taste great!"

He licked his palm. Didn't taste great.

"I'll add some cherry flavor!" he said.

So he rubbed some cherry-flavored NyQuil on his palm, greased up, and fed the bull by hand.

By cherry-flavored hand.

You ever tasted that shit? It tastes like tinted baby oil.

And don't get me started on the dumb shit who invented edible panties. I mean, how fucking sick can you be.


- Saul

2 comments:

  1. Smoking the ham...nice.

    I prefer the following:
    Snapping the carrot
    Twisting the turnip
    Peeling the potato
    manhandling the lovestick
    making myself blind
    hairing up the palm

    These aren't in any order of preference.

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  2. In all due respect, "Smoking the ham" belongs to Army of One.

    - Saul

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