I've decided to start carrying a chicken's foot on my key chain just to mess with people. And when they start to say something I don't agree with I'm going to take out the chicken's foot, roll my eyes in the back of my head and start flicking it at them in a slow rhythmic cadence. And every once in a while I will say something enigmatic like, "I am but a servant to a master with a will that is mine." I will hide the occasional dead animal in the building. Sparse chicken feathers will appear in random trash cans around the office. I'll secretly snap pictures of all my co-workers and make a collage of them on my desk with an old bird's nest sitting in front of it. No one is going to fire me because every human mind is filled with a level of reasonable doubt concerning the unknown consequences of their actions against a man carrying a chicken's foot. I will become a powerful and respected man...all because I carry a chickens foot on my key chain. BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
-Army of One
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My dad killed our rabbits and ate them over a camp fire, cute little pink-eyed albino and sable bunnies.
ReplyDeleteThen he gave us a rabbit's foot each and said, "This is for luck."
Yeah. Luck.
They smelled pretty bad, and there were maggots between the toes.
- Saul