First and foremost is Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. What low-rent third world sweat-shop Ugly factory made that fucking head?!? Come on Douglas, you didn't see that fucking coming?? You bang a chick that looks like Wile E. Coyote and I guaran-fucking-tee you that you are the only motherfucker on her speed dial. And during the sex scenes I wasn't sure if Michael Douglas was banging a woman or Dr Frank-N-Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show. I've seen steamier shit swirling around in the old porcelain pressure cooker. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to all the way to the bone...woof.
And tell me Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't look like Dee Fucking Snider from Twisted Sister... Yeah, we ain't gonna take it...even if she offered it.
-Army of One
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Okay...those were good. But what in the hell is the world's fascination with Hilary Swank? Great body, but a face like a thirteen year old boy. I'm certain that she's got some sort of concealer hiding an adam's apple on the long neck of hers. Perhaps it was million dollar baby that ruined her for me, but I swear she's smuggling kielbasa between her legs.
ReplyDeleteMan-chicks are kinda hot, if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteI mean, who wouldn't love to get their ass stomped by Linda Hamilton.
She puts you in a headlock, chokes you out, and you wake up handcuffed to the back of a truck in the middle of the desert, wearing nothing but a bandolier full of pocket vibrators with three feet of ass beads stuffed up your hole.
Linda's driving the truck, yelling out the window, "I'm taking you someplace ~real nice~ pretty boy."
Or how about Jamie Lee Curtis.
Sure, she used to be man. Remember Curtis James, the gay porn superstar.
How the fuck do I know that! Google it. That's her. Him. Whatever.
I'd still bang Jamie Lee. With extreme prejudice.
She just might bang me back!
Of course, the hottest man-chick out there, EVER: Sean Young.
Yep. Sean Young. Ever see Ace Ventura?
She's a DUDE!
And I wouldn't care. Not one little bit.
- Saul